I don’t know why people are upset about this young traveler’s post. It’s getting pretty viral or maybe viral among the 20-something engaged and 20-something wives.
She just sounds like a typical 20-something with a bucket list and giving some suggestions to the table because I know when school is over — whether you just want to end in high school or you Ph.D. and you don’t have anything lined up afterwards then life is pretty directionless.
Her list is a little superficial but I think people are looking into too much and too literal. But maybe deep down you do need a new haircut or learn how to bake and start by I don’t know…maybe BAKING A CAKE! Or is it learning how to get baked?
I did have an ambitious list which I didn’t complete all since they were 101 things to do in 2.5 years after graduation. But at the time, I just was listing whatever needed to be listed because I was a UCLA graduate with a degree in Neuroscience with no intention to go to med school or pharmacy school — no direction.
When I was working San Diego and being around my fiance’s circle of friends and family and extended family, a lot of them did not pursue higher education after high school. None of them pursued a trade skill with a certification. A handful of them did join the armed services but only to return that even though they have the skills an employer is looking for, there is no piece of paper indicating where they went to school. It’s an invisible certificate that no one sees but themselves. A lot of them did get married after college and had kids. People who didn’t have kids and/or get married well…not sure what’s going on. I knew a girl who dropped out after a semester in community college because she wanted to work full time. A year later, she wants a job where she can move up in the world. She didn’t think about going back to school or pick up a new skill.
When I was living in SD, I did wonder how things would go with me if I were not pursue higher education after high school. But then…I just couldn’t see it. Clearly nothing was lined up for me if I decided not go to college.
So here is my list of things to do before you get engaged for any age (since I am 26 and engaged)
- Go to school whether it would be a bachelor’s or for trade. It gives you an opportunity to meet a lot of people (if you allow yourself to)
- Find yourself in a job you love — ok maybe people might say I’m delusional because the economy is so bad. But the way I see it, think of this bad economy as the new normal unless we place an embargo on all merchandise from China. But in the meantime try to make some (a lot of) effort to be more competitive.
- Travel somewhere, anywhere. Doesn’t have to a round-the-world trip, doesn’t have to be extended.
- Get on your own (without a boyfriend to supplement you) – I’m not saying you need to buy your own one bedroom apartment. At least be able to afford a room in an apartment without the help of a boyfriend. It’ll make you less needy.
- Make big purchases — Other than paying off those student loans, I would say my biggest purchase was buying my good old used car. When I moved to San Diego, I NEEDED a car. When I first bought it, I already knew that I needed to avoid eating for a while which leads me to…
- Getting in shape and exercise, eat healthier – Other than slimming down and getting in shape, you’ll be doing yourself a lot of favors. Besides if you’re engaged, you don’t want to work out too insanely hard during your engagement period. Enjoy engagement.
- Learning how to save (or is it learning how to be frugal?). For me, being frugal is easy but the saving part is hard for me. I feel I save and conveniently some disaster happens and I have pull out my savings. Yes I am happy that I have an emergency to pay off those disasters quickly like when my PayPal got hacked, I still needed funds because it was going to be a while until I got my funds restored. But anyways I wish had probably multiple savings accounts other than my emergency fund–I would hate to pull it out for wedding related things. I had a travel fund but I already knew I was traveling and I had to save up for that. But anywho…I know a lot of engaged girls who don’t even have an emergency fund. When they get engaged it was pulling out whole paychecks week after week. Ouch.
See? A small list of things to do before you’re engaged and I wouldn’t have it any other way :-).