I read this piece from Brazen Careerist on relocating to a new city and how to adjust and I think this is really great advice for people who relocated mainly for work rather than for school or for a change of scenery. It’s hard to adjust but at least I’m making every effort to participate but there are some people who just sulk about how they feel they were forced to move because of their job. Anyways, here is what I got out of it:
1. Open Your Mind to Activities and Events:
I participate whenever I can. I look through the UCSD calendar for upcoming events, seminars, and plays. I look into meetup.com and join groups based on similar interests. I like to invite friends along but I usually really like to invite people who relocated just like me too because I just think it’s fun to explore a new city with someone who is just like me…but there are some people who just act kind of smug about it. I know this girl who relocated just like me and we met at UCLA and she told me the thing she missed about LA was not the nightlife but the events on campus like Melnitz movie and seminars and I’ve been showing her some events that are going on at UCSD and immediately she goes “Thank you, but I think UCLA events are just better.” I think “oh…have you been any UCSD events?” and she goes “no, I just think UCLA events better.” Then last night I mentioned I wanted to go to the Sicilian Festival in Little Italy today, she says “I don’t think it would look like any fun.” I’ll be honest it’s such a drag and it’s annoying and I have brought that problem up before.
2. Stay in touch with your old life but don’t rely on them:
In LA I have my family, my neighbors, my friends from high school, orchestra, and college. I facebook them or I randomly call them up saying “I saw someone that looks like you and I thought about you.” I’ll meet them one weekend if I happen to be up in LA. But the same person I mentioned relies on her old life back in LA but the thing is what she remembers of LA is her friends up in Westwood. The population there is volatile–people there just come and go. It was nice visiting the first time at Westwood but every trip we made to Westwood to visit my college friends was starting to get depressing. I liked seeing them but I knew the months were getting closer to graduation and they would be moving back to wherever they’re going. All I can think about is how weird it is not have them around for the summer. But hey, I kind of see it as an excuse to go wherever they’re going just as a nice change of scenery.
I remembered when we were on our way home from LA my friend goes “I’m going to text so and so and see what they are doing.” and I asked her why she wanted to do that? I mean just saw them. she goes “I just wanted to see what they are doing.” I told her to not ask what they’re doing because well, we’re not there. They’re probably off having lunch or probably out (without us), I mean just because we’re not there doesn’t mean they’re putting their lives on hold for us–lots of things change.
3. accept contentment–don’t expect perfection
I always think things are bound to get better :-).
4. Don’t force yourself into the role of a big fish in a small pond (or a big fish in a big pond).
For me, I don’t really like telling people I went to UCLA just because I don’t want to act like I’m the big fish. I don’t think I’ve really have proven myself yet. I agree with the author of the article because in every place you go, you work hard for your reputation and to be recognizable.
5. Give yourself something to look forward to
this explains itself. I’ve got a calendar in my head for all things I want to do but I think I should start writing them down otherwise I’ll forget. Anyways this week I’m looking forward to checking out this exhibit sometime after work.