Look! A substantial post!
I guess lately I’ve been a bit frustrated about having celebrations. My husband is a very nice, in fact, he’s a lot nicer than I am. He wants to celebrate people’s big moments in life whether it’s a big move or getting a job. It’s not a problem for me either but I like to celebrate the big moments in our lives too. I wanted to take him to dinner when I passed the first interview of his dream job and I took him out to dinner to celebrate when he got a new job. But I guess recently, I fell into a more sour turn.
A few days before the wedding I told him “After this wedding, I don’t want to plan anymore events for the year. I’m tired.” It’s not as long as one thinks — it’s only 2 months of hiatus time. Actually I was more than tired — I was burnt out. I even starting to think that celebrations were becoming stupid. During our engagement process, we not only planned a wedding and an engagement party but we also hosted several events as well that were not wedding related such as a tamales party, 3 pho parties (we make our own pho–this dedicates a post), a housewarming party, a bun bao party, and a paintball party–just to name a few.
You see, my childhood friend is moving away. In fact, she’s been talking about it for a year, it was set in stone she was moving. I don’t know what the hold-back was but more than a year she still didn’t move and we celebrated 5 farewell get-togethers. I was getting worn out after the 3rd going-away party because she wasn’t going to move until another 2 months.
It was equivalent to someone I knew who was pregnant and she was getting not just ONE baby shower but 4 baby showers. It wasn’t because she was having quadruplets, it was just one child. Did this one unborn child need a four baby showers? Did the pregnant lady need a taco truck and churro truck for baby shower #3? I found it borderline greedy. (Watch me not get a baby shower).
I guess it goes back why do K and I like to celebrate people’s life events? I had to think deep down and I realized I found it partly resenting. No one really helped us in some way celebrated ours — what I mean is no one threw something for us and we had to initiate. Examples would be:
- No one hosted our engagement party. K and I had to had to ask our families what date works for them, find a place, bring food. We had to make compromises because my father-in-law hates Chinese food when we really wanted to host it at a Chinese restaurant but instead we hosted at a park and did a picnic. And I didn’t have a bridal shower.
- My past two jobs, my coworker did not host or celebrate my birthday
- No one celebrated K and I leaving San Diego.
- My old colleagues in San Diego did not celebrate me leaving. However, K’s old San Diego colleagues had a whole week for him.
Times people threw something for me:
- My current coworkers throwing me a bridal shower — it was a complete surprise. Throughout this engagement period, out of all people my coworkers hosted something.
- My current coworkers celebrate my birthday with Porto’s cake. It’s just so overwhelming. As I said, I’m not use to this. My previous two jobs, no one celebrated my birthday. I think going from no celebration and no cake to work party and Porto’s cake is a real upgrade.
- When my college friends celebrated me leaving LA to SD. Maybe that is why I decided to move back.
- When my old college coworkers celebrated my last day of work
I told K we really shouldn’t make our friend a 5th going away party. I know she’s leaving for good but is it really a big deal? I told him about how no one celebrated us leaving and wishing us well. I guess people not celebrating that for us was a way for them to not wish us but guess what? …we’re married now 2 years later! We really don’t have intentions moving back to San Diego.
K said the reason why he likes to celebrate people’s life events is because he never got one. Surprise! I don’t mean it in a sarcastic way. I really don’t. As I said, he’s a whole lot nicer than me. I, too, enjoy celebrating things for people because I do want to wish them well and I do know they appreciate it. I’m just exhausted, how did we find ourselves hosting 5 farewell parties for one person? I guess other than celebrating, I also do appreciate some reciprocation once in a while.
Sorry, no hosting for me until 2015. I just want to focus on relaxing.