Yay! May is over!

I’m glad I did NaBloPoMo because the daily postings helped me experiment with different topics, memes, and finally finish up some drafts. In the beginning I did follow the theme but along the way the daily postings helped me exercise my creativity muscles beyond talking about how my day went . When I first signed up, I had doubts of successfully completing a month’s worth of daily postings but I did it. But now I feel like maybe I should post a non-365 photo post probably once a week.

Now according to wordpress, the top search engine word people are using to end up in my blog is atmosphere alongside other search engine words people use.

Also I’m happy to go to bed by 10 pm again instead being up at 11 pm still typing up a post (I start my work day at 5 am).

For those interested in doing NaBloPoMo

From NaBloPoMo:
The theme for June is NOW. In addition to the monthly theme, we’re also adding daily writing prompts! You’ll find them posted on the top of the front page of nablopomo.com Monday through Friday for the month of June, and if people find them useful we’ll keep it as a regular feature.

If you’re planning on blogging every day in June and would like to be on the blogroll, click here and follow the directions at the top of the page. HTML badges are here!

Thanks and happy blogging!
Visit NaBloPoMo at: http://www.nablopomo.com/?xg_source=msg_mes_network

Cliques through adulthood

Yes! Tomorrow is my last day of NaBloPoMo! It’s been a good month of daily blogging that is NOT a 365 day photo project and it made me able to post all things I’ve been meaning to post about and some days I’m so stumped I’m typing up at 11 pm.


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So I know throughout the month and pretty much majority of this blog, I’ve been talking about relocation as an adult and a professional and even though it’s nice to have a change of scenery, inside it screams social anxiety. Maybe because growing up, I did not have the best social skills and I’m still learning. It brought me out my inner anthropologist–or is it sociologist? Whichever it is, my head writes field notes. I’ve noticed even as an adult, we still act like high school students from work to a house party–there’s still gossip and peer pressure. Or is high school really a microcosm of the rest of your adult life? Anyways the thing that did surprise me the most so far is cliques in your adulthood.

God, I never thought I’d ever encounter this word again. Before I was always taught to never do the clique thing and don’t exclude people out if they want to get to know you and how cliques retards your growth as a person. And now when I talked about my parents how people just seem so self-segregated in their comfort zones, my parents go “what’s wrong with that?” Now “cliques” has a twisted meaning and I don’t understand how someone can teach me that something is wrong to exclude people who want to be your friend throughout my school career and now tell me it’s kind of all right. I always believed in widening and making various circles of friends to create myself a well rounded person and I’d like to keep it that way. But then again, I am the type of person that does talk to anybody about anything. And even if I don’t know about something, like let’s say about my conversation with my pharmacist friend and his colleague on holistic health–something that I don’t understand too well but I already have an opinion about it, I’d still ask without slamming it down. I’d like to understand more about all these alternatives to conventional medicines and pharmaceuticals and their research behind it. Anyone I’ve talked to who had acupuncture told me it works after going through 5 years old back pain and hey, it’s been around a lot longer than ibuprofen so it has to work. Also I like to share with other people about things I learned in my convos from other people, before people thought it was cool and interesting and they share something they found. Now I can’t seem to hold people’s interest or I get a slammed or that I’m told I’m talking nonsense. Now I’m left with gossip. I hate hate hate gossip and telling stories that aren’t mine. Now I wonder how does one start a conversation?

I always thought this clique thing would be over after I finished school. I never felt like I needed to be part of any special group in high school and in college and if I felt excluded out, to me, it didn’t matter. I’ve got other people who would like me anyways. But why do I think this feeling of being excluded hits harder as an adult/professional? Maybe because now the relationships you make do matter. Being excluded in the work place means an opportunity being shut down from moving up the ladder at work. It doesn’t matter if you’re talented, smart, and good at what you do–if you can’t work with people or people can’t work with you, then those qualities don’t matter. And life is sure lonely–it’s a topic brought up by someone every week.

Here is an excerpt from an article on BellaOnline, Mandel talks about dealing with feelings of exclusion:
Move past the small, limited world of the clique. Meeting new people is energizing and stimulating. Moreover, friendships are forged on many levels fulfilling different needs. They don’t all have to be equally intense. By the same token, newcomers to any group need to be patient, taking things slowly and lightly. Friendships take time to deepen.

It all boils down to cultivating a strong core of self-confidence. Accept who you are. Comparisons to others drain you of personal power, robbing you of a perception of your own uniqueness. Express yourself genuinely and take yourself out of the competition.

Here is how adults can move past feelings of exclusion:

  • Don’t let others have power over you. Realize that even the most popular feel insecure. In fact, you might be excluded because you seem unapproachable – they might feel undermined by you hanging on the sidelines! Reach out; leave your comfort zone to make the first move.
  • Emit positive vibes. People gravitate to positive people. Be the best that you can be and others will be attracted to you.
  • See the basic comedy of manners in the clique. Don’t take them so seriously. Laughter generates endorphins and will help you see other possibilities.
  • Get rid of that air of desperation. If you act like a victim, you will be treated like a victim. Living well is really the best antidote. Act as if and soon you will be feeling much happier and relieved. Have confidence that things will work out in the end.
  • Focus on past successes and what qualities you incorporated to make them a success. Transfer these qualities to other areas of your life- like making new friends.
  • Keep growing. Get out and learn new things and visit new places. If you have other sincere friends in your life, who cares about one or two less. Focus on who and what you have- not what you are missing.
  • Get involved at your child’s school: class mother, committees, school programs, etc. You will help your child by being in the know about school. You can be creatively involved, suggest improvements and be there to have some input
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    Day 263

    My family came down and we went to the San Diego Zoo!

    Day 262

    I love the Living Room–it’s a coffee shop in downtown La Jolla. If you go upstairs it’s a hookah bar/wine and spirits bar. Their baklava rolls win me over. It’s always busy so I’m not too sure if I would like to go there to catch up on my reading…but I’ll try it one day. But it’s sure a great place to catch up with old friends and meet new friends. I was actually meeting up with Nick, an old friend from college who graduated from pharmacy school 2009 and did his rounds in SD in his last year and he came down to SD to check out the pharm school graduation. I’m so sad that I did not take any picture of the Living Room because it’s pretty cool place. But here’s a group picture. So two people on the left side are pharmacists–they’re actually getting into holistic health and the person next to me is my friend’s roommate who is actually a UCLA alum who has been working in SD for about 3 years. It was a pretty interesting convo on holistic health and the information was rather dense–so much in such little time. I actually don’t know where to begin if I were to talk about the conversation. Considering all of us majored in science, I don’t quite see things the same way as they do. I mean I try to avoid taking medicine when I am sick because I fear I would take too much and I feel maybe my body would take care of it on its own. Then they were like “see? You already had a feeling conventional medicine was already toxic.” And they took it to another level. It wasn’t just medicine and acupuncture and ayurveda that was included in the conversation, but also the holistic health point of view on allergies, energy and on color therapy.

    Then after meeting with friends at the coffee place, Amber met up with me at downtown LJ and we checked around some stores. Burns Drugs is a neat store. It’s so refreshing from your CVS and walgreens chain.

    Looking up for meetup events

    Lately I’ve been into Meetup.com which is basically joining groups based on special interest like photography, dancing, book discussions, volunteering, networking, etc. And there would be events to meetup. Personally I’ve never attended one myself but I’d like to go just out of curiousity.

    So far I have:

    San Diego Biotechnology Network

    New Friends to Explore SD with – I’m actually trying to convince Amber participate in this mixer party this weekend–aka speed dating but it’s for meeting friends and maybe if you’d like romantic relationships.

    The San Diego New In Town – this one has some regular events like at the last Friday of every month is a birthday dinner.

    San Diego Coffee Club – going around trying different coffee shops? My type of group!

    Drinking with Strangers - I joined but…eh…

    San Diego Book Readers

    Day 260

    Decided to take a mental health break after work–stop by where my friend works. Check out that hand glider in the background. I guess that polio virus model was there for only a short time. Anyways it’s my first time at Salk Institute to be actually INSIDE the place. Wow, I’d loved to check this courtyard out in sunset.

    It looks like I won’t live in the town house anymore. You see the person was looking for two girls to fill two single rooms. One girl took one single and I was the last one and took the other single room and we’d move in June 1st. Then the very very last minute, the girl who lived in the single room said she was unable to relocate due to work and family problems. So now me and my new roommate are looking for a place together. At least my lease in current place ends June 20th so I got time.