FYI, this is from my perspective and the things I’ve been going through with this wedding planning the past year. I won’t talk about how weddings are expensive to fund because they are and I won’t talk about how choosing the right font and colors. So far I’ve learned (in particular order):
1. Everyone wants to know how the wedding planning is going – STFU! We picked our vendors in the first three months of being engaged and from January to June we did not doing anything major major regarding the wedding planning–there was the engagement photo shoot in March. Between the months from January to June, I had a root canal and I trained for my half marathon. But yeah…a lot of people like to ask how the wedding planning is going and you tell them “I’ve been training for this half-marathon, I’ve been running 3 times per week” or “I had a root canal and it put a huge dent on my bills; I haven’t really put too much thought on wedding planning, sorry.” I think they were honest answers. But in the end their ears are hearing wedding, wedding, wedding. I understand they’re excited but I feel terrible that I didn’t have anything worth talking about since we did most of the work in the very beginning of the engagement. I guess I just got sick of talking about the same thing over and over again.
2. There’s this expectation that you’re suppose a certain way…. – I wasn’t sure how to word this. But people are very surprised to see I do not have the pre-wedding jitters or becoming bridezilla and the wedding is in 5 weeks. Well…I don’t know how to explain it. I’ve got plenty of things to be distracted. I don’t know how to explain it, but I don’t like being told that I’m not acting a certain way.
3. It can get political even though you tried to mitigate EVERYTHING! - We already made it clear that we were going to fund the wedding and do WHATEVER we want. My future FIL and MIL has asked us to invite more people to our wedding because they want to get some money from it. Well, we’re not a business transaction. You see, my fiance has been giving money to people’s wedding on their behalf because his parents asked him for money so it’s really not their money. They’re not funding our wedding so they don’t have any control of the guestlist.
4. Pick up some creative skills - I’m glad I took a few Paint Nite classes to get in touch with my creative side because some of the DIY projects I decided to take on from Pinterest take a lot of time and patience. From Paint Nite, I learned whatever I was going to be painting was not going to be perfect. When I attempt DIYs from Pinterest, I don’t try too hard to make it the exact replica but I do put a lot of effort into what I do.
5. You don’t need to plan your wedding at every waking moment of your life - If you plan correctly, you don’t need to plan it everyday. Besides, why do you want to plan it at every waking moment? When the wedding is over, what is there left really? If your engagement is 12 months or more, you have a lot more lull time than you think.
6. Still pursue your hobbies – I think plenty of people forget that I (and other bride-to-bes’) do have a life beyond planning a wedding like working out, reading books and music, blogging, and having a social life. During my time as a engaged woman, I also learned new things where I wanted to get better at something such as becoming a better writer at work, getting more confident in public speaking, and practicing better communication skills overall.
7. Exercise (and other good habits) AFTER the wedding is over – For those who have never exercised before planning the wedding, maybe your plan to exercise AFTER the wedding. You may not have a dress to fit in anymore, but didn’t you feel great losing all that weight and picking up healthier habits?
For myself, I’ve always exercised before getting engaged because I like going to the gym. When my half-marathon was coming up, I really had to up my exercise regiment. I usually do a lot of cardio classes like dance and spin but I also needed to pick up more strength training such as doing more squats to get stronger legs. I did lose weight and people did notice. I really didn’t like it when people said my weight loss was for the wedding. I’ve always exercised before, it was just those months I had to amp it up more than usual.
8. DIY within your abilities - Otherwise, it might become a glue-mess disaster. There are exceptions though, if you have extra time start your way slow. When I first got engaged, I DIY’ed a lot until I figured out which skills I was good at (painting) and which ones I wasn’t (making yarn balls).
9. Delete your Pinterest board…or delete some of the pins – I’ll admit it’s very hard to do. I love collecting ideas on Pinterest but once you do decide on what you like delete the rest of the pins that you didn’t chose. For examples, I pinned a lot of high heeled shoes on my board but now I decided to go with flat shoes, so I deleted all the high heeled shoes. I also pinned a lot of dresses I really admired from afar. Once I decided on the dress, I deleted all the dresses too on the board too. It just makes things less cloudy and makes me less indecisive.
Exception is that I am keeping a few items on my board because my wedding coordinator/florist does look at my Pinterest board.
10. The younger the bride-to-be, the more “stressful” situations she’ll encounter – Maybe they’re relatively stressful because the are things she never thought she had to deal with. For myself, I’m the first of my friends to get married and plan a wedding and I never thought I would have to deal with my future MIL becoming Momzilla because we couldn’t invite her friends.
My friend’s sister is a few years younger than me and she’s on the same boat too but for a different reason–bridesmaids drama. She has A LOT of bridesmaids.
One of my coworker’s daughter is engaged and she’s also a few years younger than me too. Recently, I told my coworker about all the things that stressed me about about the wedding like…in-law drama. My co-worker loves weddings and the planning process of being around pretty things, but she realized she forgot the things her daughter is going through like her own in-law drama. Yeah…it’s not all about the pretty things.
Sorry about my cynicism but I’ve been meaning to post the things I’ve encountered throughout my wedding planing process. I do enjoy it but I’m not sure if I would ever want to plan another wedding again. I learned I do like to DIY such as creating money boxes and altar arrangements, and I would do that for someone else’s wedding. But other than that…with the in-law drama and the guestlist craziness is enough for me not ever want to plan a wedding again (I’ll write more about that in detail another time).